Okay, so I've decided to watch True Blood, that HBO tv show about vampires.
You can find it on IMDB here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0844441/
And on Wikipedia here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/True_Blood
I've just started the First episode of the First season.
I'm 4 minutes in, just up to the opening credits, and so far this is my reaction. "... o.O ... Wtf?"
I mean, I'm thinking to my self "What is this??"
Up to now the acting hasn't been that overly great, but we'll see how that goes later in the show.
Scene opens with horny teenagers. Drunk horny teenagers. Driving down... a highway? In the Middle of nowhere? Oh, and it's all rainy looking outside. The roads are wet and stuff. That seems like an accident waiting to happen. [Edit: these Teens weren't shown at all in the rest of this episode. What is their point, then?]
And then we've got a tv show-interview with a very posh looking vampire. Scan the guy who's watching the show, from his heavy boot clad feet to his blood shot eyes. Makes you think "Oh, this dude's a vampire!" which is exactly what the producers of the show want you to think. Which is precisely what isn't true. Cut to the hillbilly looking for a drink in the cooler. Cut back to Criss Angel on a bad day.
Drunk teenagers come in acting so stupid that it's obvious they're drunk or high, or just really lame actors. Blah blah blah, lets make fun of vampires. Girls accent is stupid.
Dramatic music is dramatic.
Oh, the hill billy speaks!
The teeth. Are so dumb. It looks like they're the lateral incisor, rather than the canine tooth. Which is dumb.
The theme song? Also dumb. Country music sounding.
With a lot of really strange images set to it. Almost reminds me of CSI, with the jumping from image to image, thing. Except it's like an orgy in my eyes.
Anna paquin. Can read thoughts. That's cool. Makes her seem extra X-men-esque, though. I think it's bad for me to immediately think "X-men:Rogue" when I see her on screen.
Intro black chick. She got attitude. Seems like a likeable character. Tara.
This show seems to have quite a few stereotypes, though. Fat white elitist woman. Bitchy and sexist unhappy couple.
Cool, they have a gay black man for a cook.
Okay, cut to nude oral sex in a couch while watching that show where they set ppl up on blind dates. And then an intense discussion about sex and vampires.
"It's not like it's gonna kill me. And if it Does? Well then, I won't care, will I?" This seems like foreshadowing.
The boss of Sookie(Anna Paquin)'s bar seems like a bit of a douche, though i think he's supposed to be endearing.
A vampire walks into the bar... this seems like the beginning of a bad joke.
Sookie goes all gag for him. He's attractive in a sunken faced, moody eyed sort of way.
Cut to nude couple watching female have sex with a savage looking vampire. Female turns and does things to male, while he notices that the woman has a chain and hook on her ceiling. Creepy S&M, a little?
Cut back to Sookie fawning over vampire. But wait! Creepy couple moves in and plans on draining his blood. For what? I didn't quite catch it. They somehow steal him away. Sookie follows their thoughts and finds a chain to do something with. Who knows?
Cut back to S&M type scene. All this cutting is starting to make me dizy. Man has woman tied to the ceiling while i performs anal sex on her. Tells her how dirty she is and how much she disgusts him. And wraps his hands around her neck. Oh no, she's going to die. Note the lack of enthusiasm in my voice.
Cut. Insane couple who stole the vampire for his blood are talking about how they should have taken him home instead of dragged him out into the woods to drain his blood. Vampire is still concious. Sookie to the rescue. With that chain that i'm sure would be far too heavy for her to carry like that.
What kind of a name is "Sookie" anyway? It must be short for something. But i can't think of what it would be.
Oh and then she throws it (the chain) aournd dudes neck. How? Apparently his wife/person don't care none. Woman confronts sookie, while man(Mac) chokes and gasps on the ground.
Okay, so that's cool. The vampire is held down by a silver chain. Interesting.
Random dog shows up. He kisses Sookie. It's obvious that it's Sam, the bartender. Except Sookie doesn't realize it.
Okay, the Sookie character is starting to get annoying. the southern accent and saying things like "Oh my stars!" (which sounds more like "Oh Mah Stahrrs") just seems really lame. Not good for the main character to be lame.
When sookie saved the vampire, he got all morose. And didn't want to be touched. Sookie realized she can't read the vampires thoughts. And gets all surprised (we, the watchers, realized this the moment the vampire walked into the bar, about 10 minutes ago in the show, but Apparently the Sookie Character is slow.) and she grabs him and stares at him all close. She doesn't respect his personal space, so then he goes all "You should be afraid of being alone with a vampire in the dark i could turn on you, you know" and she pretends it doesn't bother her, and pulls the silver chain out of her pocket as she backs away a couple steps. Wraps it around her neck to protect herself, but the vampire says oral sex is delicious. Which of course Sookie gets offended about.
The Vampire moves all quick. The effect is lame. And jumpy. It should be smoother, but it's not.
Vampire's name is Bill. Sookie laughs. And gets all up in his face about it.
Bill is all broody. Doesn't want anyone to know that his (and all vampires) weakness is silver.
Tara wants a job bartending, sam doesn't think so because she'll drive his customers away. Love this line: "I only go off on stupid people. " "Most of my customers are stupid people."
It looks like Sookies brother is the Horny Teenager from the beginning. Or maybe the guy who killed the woman he was sexing? Yep the guy who was sexing the vampire lover, and maybe possibly killed her. Not sure exactly what happened there. Jason, is his name. Chases after the slutty waitress.
Apparently Sookie can't hear her grandmothers thoughts. Or her grandmother isn't a deep character and so doens't have thoughts.
Oh look sookie has a stalker. Middle of the night, a vampire standing below her window. and so she runs outside in her short shorts and night robe? She says "I didn't think i'd be having sex with you so fast" and he says "Who says anything about sex? and licks his lips/runs his tongue between his fangs.
Suddenly i'm confused. And Sookie wakes up.
Jason, the sex guy is concerned about Sookie's well being if she's caught up with vampires. Sookie is tanning on the front lawn. Turns out Jason actually did strangle that woman. Maudette. Jason, the guilty one, blames it on a Vampire.
Sookie can't read Jasons mind either, apparently.
Jason seems really weird. Sookie tries to read his mind (has to touch his neck?) and he freaks out and tells her he's her brother. As if that's an excuse for everything. The law comes a knocking. He tries to pretend he's innocent. The cops have seen the tape.
Blah blah blah.
I feel like i shouldn't Be Recaping this, but i kind of can't help it.
It's the only way to have any idea what's going on.
haha, a guy named Hoit.
I think Anna Forgot her accent.
When Sookie sees the vampire again, all the sound goes fuzzy like she's in a blur. Yet she can suddenly hear everyones thoughts. Or, we can. It's nicely done, giving us insight into her character through others thoughts.
There's a lot of sexual tension between Bill and Sookie.
Suddenly it seems like Sookie and Bill are in a secret relationship. She keeps tilting her head in this really wierd way. Like she wants to kiss him.
Sam yells at her and calls her a "Goddamn Vigilante". Makes me think about ASBaR, like Robin had been critiquing. But it makes Sookie cry. Then Sam goes all huggy and Sookie reads his mind about how much he loves her. And then Sookie reads a whole bunch of people's minds.
and Sam lives right behind the bar.
This whole show seems kind of erratic.
End scene: Sookie's behind the bar, about to get into her car. Hears something. Sounds like bat wings fluttering. Walks away from her car to see what it is. She's probably hoping it's Bill because she asked him to meet her when she got off her shift at 1:30.
And then Mack and his wife start beating the crap out of her. Camera pans out. Black screen. Episode over.
Gotta give it credit, for making me want to watch the next one.
Verdict so far: Not terrible. Not overly good, either. Some quirky lines. Confusing at times, but not overly so. Most annoying thing for me was the cutting between scenes, right in the middle there.
Yep, i'm definitely interested in watching the next one.
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